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Attention: War of Mexican Love Albures at Sight

Journey Into the Smarty, Alternate, and Funny Ways Mexicans Make Fun of Somebody Else That Participates in The “Albures.”

 

Mexico is kind of unique. It’s a point and apart. It’s an exception. It’s an exquisite rarity that appears as a somewhat exotic land to many foreign travelers’ sights.

By taking a look at Mexico’s geographical extension, one can easily deduct that these latitudes should possess some kind of wealth.

In fact, not only one generalized wealthy aspect shows up, but many of them manifest perpetually all around the country.

A wealth of several climate types. A wealth in different nature’s ecosystems. A wealth in history, culture, and traditions.

Mexico is also wealthy in the unbelievable number of culinary options detached from the amazing and abundant natural resources amount, which are expressed in thousands of fruits, vegetables, and seed varieties.

This way, this wealth isn’t absent at all from the “Mexicanized” Spanish language, Mexicans speak in this awesome country.

Wealth also reserved some of its presence to the ways Mexicans use Miguel de Cervantes’ language.

The “albur” or the “albures” as well, are Mexican ingenious “spicy” words and concepts games.

In these games, two or more people are involved in a type of conversation or dialogues where they hilariously exchange funny phrases, mentions, references, and allusions.

They have to refer to situations in which their rivals, hypothetically live, experience or are involved in fictitious states, circumstances, and situations of sexual, rude, denigrating, or embarrassing nature.

The “albures” main objective consists of one of the parties that must make the other person or persons participating in the “albur” looking real bad. Additionally, practicing the “albures” is just a matter of laughing and having lots of fun too.

The “albureros” or the participants in these word games achieve this goal by putting their best cunning speech resources into action.

The “albures” refined and master technique requires to observe two fundamental actions. The first one. All vulgarities, rudeness, and sexual connotations should be disguised in skillful, clever, ingenious, and, above all, discreet ways.

The second one requires the alburero to intelligently camouflage any offensive, insulting, denigrating, sordid words or concepts in the most “fine” possible ways.

The master “alburero” gets the participants or the public realize the albures in such an open, evident way that they don’t need any further explanations from an expert in “albures” to understand them.

I mean, disguised and unspoken, to avoid saying openly, notoriously, and in a patent way, for example, that “the farm’s donkey is having sex with someone.”

In this way, the “albures’ ” correct technique practice, all those concepts that the “alburero” mentions to the counterpart, must be transformed into one or several conceptual alternatives.

This transformation requires the alburero to mention the albures to the opponent in the most intelligent, skillful, ingenious, funny, and discreet possible ways.

Now, the albures that reach the supreme category are those that go totally unnoticed. That’s to say, those albures you cannot detect or understand their meaning totally at the first time.

Those albures that you don’t require that someone else, with previous training or who has a vast accumulated experience in albures, explain to you what the “alburero” actually said.

The “albures” final goal is to succeed in defeating or mocking the opponent(s) by using as many sharp language resources as possible.

The winner in an “albures” contest is the one that manages to leave the opponent silent, or when the answer of this last personage doesn’t tie or exceeds in quality or meaning the albur mentioned previously.

An ” alburero ” is also defeated when an “albur” response has nothing to do with the previously mentioned albur or keeps no relation with the history or situation that the albur contest is building or developing during the albures exchange.

However, it’s not necessary to have an albures contest in place to use the albures.

Smart guys can also transport the albures technique to situations where they need to explain or refer to any given situation where space for the usage of sexual connotations would fit perfectly.

From this post, I’m sure you my loyal Magno followers will know how to build or “circumvent” your speech in some albures way too.

This post will be useful if you see involved in a situation when the albures are present in your travel in Mexico in the case that you hear talks between locals on a tour or a guided visit.

The albures can also help you if some conversations reach a mutual jolly, amicable, playful, and “spicy” level after some hours of confidence with Mexican friends. Take care. Those Mexican buddies may use albures.

The examples I’ll provide lines below to nonnatives are useful. They represent vocabulary defensive firearms when a smarty, funny Mexican tries to engage you into some kind of “harsh,” alternative language definitions to refer to words and sentences which lead the conversation into the meaning of humans’ “loving activities.”

 

Disclaimer/Warning/Notice/Attention:

 

Having said this, please don’t put the blame on me that I didn’t warn you at all thoroughly. No scowling or complaints accepted. No squeaky readers accepted.

No “I’m taking my travel’s blog reading business elsewhere” blackmailing or snotty toddlers’ tantrums accepted.

Are you ready? Sure, sure, sure? Ok.

The above lines were intended to harden your spirits because some refined people may identify these funny, popular Mexico’s albures as somewhat rude, tacky, naff, or vulgar.

You everyone, everyone, everyone of you, my Magno friends, now is positively warned in advance.

The story about John and Barbara I include lines below, with its albures examples, is somewhat rude and “aggressive” for sensitive personalities but definitely sobering.

All those albures are considered here in Mexico, a little or moderately, (or perhaps) very vulgar, “nacas” (Mexican word for naff or tacky) expressions.

Simple and ordinary forms to name what in high society levels they cannot say by their real names.

However, they are finely disguised to avoid mentioning the real word meaning openly. I’m very sorry. This is the way Mexican albures are. This warning is for the sake that you don’t pass out.

For your information, the albures are included with their respective “quotes.” Thank you.

 

Final disclaimer introductory note.

 

And, by the way, before I start, don’t deny it at all, my dear Magno readers. We are human beings.

Don’t pretend at all this affair doesn’t concern to you. Don’t pretend that the sky’s clouds are “calling” you.

Don’t even try to tell me, “Oh! I’m sorry, Magno, I have to stop reading this post because my house garden tree is “calling me on the phone.”

Bah!!, old and useless tricks. They don’t work at all anymore.

I’m very certain that you may also find yourselves from time to time into situations where your repressed passional desires show up on your skin’s top.

Don’t tell me at all that you haven’t visited before the passion fields of the Greek goddess of love, Aphrodite.

In my case, many Mexicans, instead of stepping into Aphrodite’s fields, they do it into the national versions of love’s deities, such as the ancient Aztec’s culture love and pleasures goddess “Xochiquetzalli.” Or maybe into the passional fields of “Tlazoltéotl,” ancient Huasteca’s culture deity of passion and lust.

Ok, ok. That’s good enough. You’ll tell me that Magno puts lots of emotion before describing some albures.

However, I do have to warn and apologize in advance to those with a somewhat high personal offensiveness level.

I’m sorry. The last one and I start with the albures. Yet, popular and funny, smarty Mexicans don’t blush too much when they play to the albures. That’s the way albures are. Point.

Having said this large explanatory introduction in advance, let’s go fast and furious into the way some Mexicans would use the albures to circumvent the “there’s sex” meaning.

The jocund Mexican way to mean and circumvent through “hot” word games that there’s an intimate situation happening in somebody else’s body, or mean a sexual situation was involved (Sex, for those who don’t scare at all).

John’s and Barbara’s story in Cancún refer to what I can decently call pleasing love, intimate moments by using Mexican-type albures.

These alternative resources that only crafty and ingenuous Mexicans understand, and from now on, I’m sure you too.

 

*

 

I start this story to refer to some foreign tourist friends who came to the Riviera Maya to spend some fantastic vacation days. They took advantage of the beach, sun, and hot weather to have… several enjoyable moments.

This story begins with John and Barbara. John and Barbara arrived in Cancún.

I guess their flight was awful because as soon as they checked in the hotel, they entered into their hotel room to “Pour some cream to the muffin.”

The hotel concierge, Pancho, heard John say to Barbara, “Hey Barb! I’m going to check your oil levels.”

The concierge immediately knew that this couple was going to “Ponerle Jorge al niño” (“Put the George name to the boy”). Barbara agreed right away. She consented for him to “Glaze her donut.”

Those noisy John and Barbara. Some guests complained to the hotel’s reception that two guests in a room were “Putting some “carnita” (a little meat) in the “Tamal.”

Pancho attended the complaints. Then, he knocked at John’s and Barbara’s room door to find if everything was all right.

Nothing to call home about. John answered that he and Barbara were “breaking the peanut” or “pouring cheese on the taco.” However, once again, at night, John and Barbara had their way.

Before falling asleep, they were caught by the concierge, “stuffing the turkey.” Pancho reported in his daily log, John and Barbara “were picking up pebbles.”

The next day, John and Barbara decided to go on an aquatic tour to Cancún’s “Nichupté” lagoon. Over there, amidst the mangroves, John lost no opportunity to “patch” Barbara.

That terrific John. He’s always eager to “sink the Titanic.”

Some tour mates in the same boat saw John and Barbara “give the monkey a banana.” Such a mess. They asked themselves, Why not? This lagoon is a perfect place.

Nobody’s watching. So, they “Mataron el oso a puñaladas” (“Stabbed the bear to death”).

Are you offended now? Not yet? Well, here are more of them. Finally, just before leaving Cancún back to the USA, John and Barbara remembered their Cancún’s exploits.

So, before departing to the airport, they decided to “Give King Kong its baby milk bottle” or what it means the same: “They polished the bald one” (Le sacaron brillo al pelón) or they “planted the turnip.”

All those are meanings for the same. They “pushed the guts.”

After a few days, the hotel manager was reading Pancho’s incident daily logs.

He was reading totally weird things he didn’t even understand like the guests of room 38, John and Barbara “sweetened the “Churro” on Monday. On Tuesday, they “stung the boy’s eye.” On Wednesday, they “unearthed the treasure.”

On Thursday, John said Barbara: “I wish I were Tarzan so I could get lost in that jungle.”

Finally, on Friday, Pancho reported that Barbara said John: “My fluffy hot dog bun wants that sausage.”

And, just like these, there are thousands of them. Albures form part of Mexican popular, funny culture in such an unmissable presence that some “albures” Mexican lovers even organize albures championships every year.

That’s how critical the albures matter in Mexico’s urban and social spheres.

What a “funny” Magno!! I bet you spent some time of this post on guffaws, blushing your cheeks by thinking spicy things.

I’m sorry, my duty as Mexico’s travel blogger isn’t only to bring you Mexico’s best and most exquisite delicacies.

It’s about letting you know as well, all those parallel realities you’ll find here when you spend magnificent travel times in sunny Mexico.

For now, I have to leave because Magno has to “dishevel the parrot” (Despeinar a la cotorra).

NO NO NO!!!!! THAT’S NOT TRUE. 🤣 🤣 🤣 I’m just going to give my girlfriend some kisses! 😉 (But which one? I don’t have a girlfriend!) 😭 😭 😭 .

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